Dribs and Drabs
by BlueMoonFan
Summary: a collection of drabbles. Some sweet. Some angsty. Some sad, but all of them will center around Ziva and Tony. They are all pretty much drabbles that I've written for the LJ community, NCISdrabble100. All will be 500 words or less...
1. Letters From Home

**_Here are a collection of drabbles. Some sweet. Some angsty. Some sad, but all of them will center around Ziva and Tony. They are all pretty much drabbles that I've written for the LJ community, NCISdrabble100. All will be 500 words or less..._**

**_Title: Letters From Home_**

**_Characters: Tony, with hints of Ziva_**

**_Rating: PG_**

**_Genre: Hurt/Comfort_**

**_Notes: Drabble a day, Challenge 251 Writing_**

**_Word Count: Exactly 500 because I seem to like to drag on and on..._**

**_Disclaimer: Not mine no matter how much I wish it were so._**

**_Spoilers: None directly_**

**_Summary: Tony writes letters to Ziva between the season 6 finale and the season 7 opener. Might be a one shot, but possibly a series of interconnected stories…_**

The first letter is simply a need to express himself to her in the only way that he knows how. He doesn't send that first letter however. It's simply a means to an end. A way to try and get her out of his system.

He'd sworn off getting close to any of his co-workers years ago. In that awful time between losing Kate and meeting Ziva. However, there was something about Ziva that begged getting to know. Little by little. Inch by inch. Step by step. She wove her way into his heart and his life.

So, that was how he found himself sitting at his desk late one night writing a letter to a woman that hated him. Hated him because he was defending himself and shot a man that she loved. Writing a letter that he would never send and she would never read. A letter that explained his feelings to her. Feelings that ran much deeper than simply partners.

Writing that first letter felt somewhat cathartic. Almost like lancing a long festering boil. You knew that it had to be done, but you put off doing it until the last moment. Simply because of the pain that you know that it will cause you.

The first letter simply read:**__**

**__**Dear Ziva,**__**

**__**Do you know how deep my feelings for you lie? Do you even care? Do you realize that the childish bravado is simply covering up my true feelings for you?**__**

**__**You accused me of killing Michael because I was jealous. Maybe that was true. Maybe jealousy had everything to do with it. I guess we will never know.**__**

**__**I find myself missing you more and more as the days go by. I know that Israel is your birth home, but America could be your adoptive home. If you could let it be.**__**

**__**I find myself missing you constantly. I hear a woman's laugh and sometimes it sounds like you. I know that it is just wishful thinking. In some ways, it feels worse than when we lost Kate. Because I know that the decision for you to stay behind was my fault. I won't ever be able to hear your laughter or hear you misuse common sayings again.**__**

**__**My biggest regret is that I never told you how I feel.**__**

**__**I sit here wondering if I could have said or done more. If maybe instead of going to your place that night I had talked to you. Would the outcome have been any different? Would you have believed me? Or were you so blinded by the love that you felt for Michael that you would have ignored anything that I said to you about him. I guess we will never know. And for that I'm forever sorry.**__**

**__**Until next time,**__**

**__**Tony  
><strong>_  
><em>**He knew that it was a letter that he would never send, but it felt good to express himself. How did he know that it would turn into something bigger than one simple letter?


	2. No Apology Needed

Title: No Apology Needed  
>Author: tv_fan_girl<br>Character/Pairing: Tony/Ziva  
>Rating: K<br>Challenge: #255 "Apology"  
>Spoilers: Late Season 6 early season 7 if you squint really hard.<br>Warnings: None

This got a bit fluffier than I intended.

Looking over at his partner, Tony could feel the waves of resentment coming from her. It was like it was a living, breathing entity. He knew that she was still mad at him for pushing her to talk to him earlier. Pushing her to tell him what had happened during her time in Somalia. She had told him more than once that she didn't want to talk about what happened during those awful months. Months that he wasn't sure if he would ever see her again.

At first it had been simple curiosity. Then, it had turned into something more. It had turned into an almost incessant need to comfort her. Especially when she awoke screaming in the middle of the night, hitting him in the chin and giving him a black eye in the process. He'd yelled at her that morning and they had left work in separate cars that day. Something that, since becoming a couple, they had very rarely ever done. He pulled up his instant messenger and typed a simple message into the box.

**I'm Sorry. I just wanted to understand**.

He heard the ding from across the aisle. He saw her look at her computer screen and then he saw her look across the aisle at him. Then he heard the clack clack of her typing. He looked at his instant messenger screen and smiled.

**I know. It is hard for me to talk to you about this. Hard for me to admit any weakness. **

Tony felt his heart beat a bit faster and then he typed.

**That's okay. I love you enough to accept everything about you. Weaknesses and all. **

He saw her look at him once again. He thought for a brief moment that he saw her wipe a tear from her eye, but decided that he was seeing things. His Ziva never cried. He knew a few moments later that he wasn't seeing things when he heard a loud sob coming from her direction. He saw her get up and he knew that he needed to follow her.

When they got to the elevator, he waited for the doors to close and when they did, he hit the stop button. She stared straight ahead and whispered, "What if I cannot forget what happened to me Tony? What if I can't move forward?"

Tony took her in his arms and whispered, "You can. I'll be your shoulder to lean on when things get hard."

Ziva simply looked up at him and then she whispered, "I'm sorry for this morning. I love you. So much…."

One man and one woman stood holding each other in the safety of an elevator. A few last words fell from Ziva's lips, "I will talk about it one day Tony. I promise. I just can't right now. I…"

Tony shook his head, "Don't apologize. I only want to understand."

Ziva simply nodded and allowed Tony to hold her. Knowing that he loved her. Somehow, that was enough.


	3. Looking For The Answer To Why

Title: Looking For The Answer To Why?

Author: tv_fan_girl

Characters: Tony Dinozzo

Rating: PG

Word count: 498

Spoilers: None

Warnings: Major character death.

Disclaimer: These wonderful characters still don't belong to me, but a girl can wish. Can't she?

Summary: Sometimes, no matter how much you might try, there are no answers to the question why.

Why? It was such a simple word. It consisted of three simple letters. Letters that seemed to ask so much of a person. However, there was no simple answer to that question.

Tony had looked up at the sky and wondered why, if there was a God, would he allow something like this to happen. Why he would take the woman that he had loved with all of his heart and soul. Why he would leave him without his wife and their daughter's without their mother.

He'd begged someone to explain it to him. He'd even found himself in a catholic church late one Saturday night. Looking for some kind of understanding and maybe even an answer to the question why God would take someone as wonderful as Ziva. He looked up at the statue of Christ and whispered one softly spoken word, "Why?"

Of course, there was no answer to his question. There was no sudden beam of light and no voice came out of the heavens to provide him with an answer. All it did was leave him with an even greater sense of loneliness. He'd never felt more alone in all of his life. Not even when he'd lost his mother and his father had all but abandoned him. He'd felt lonely back then, but it was nothing like what he was feeling now.

He decided that maybe God couldn't be found in a Christian church. After all, Ziva was Jewish, so maybe the answers to his question lied in another place. So, he wondered into a synagogue late one August night. It wasn't any different from the other church that he'd found himself in. It was basically the same. So, it came as no surprise to Tony that there was no answer to his softly spoken pleas. He looked up at the alter and wasn't surprised when he saw that nothing had changed.

As he walked back to his car, he felt like dying himself. Like there was nothing left to live for. As he drove home through the dark streets, he wondered if there was an answer to the question.

Walking into the house, he heard his daughter's laughter ringing throughout the house. He recalled Ziva's last words to him. She'd whispered to him softly, "I have always loved you. From the first moment I laid eyes on you. I knew that you would be the man that would change my life forever. I do not regret anything. The only regret I have is that I will not have more time to spend with you. You have become the only true family I have ever known. I love you Tony."

With that, she closed her eyes and slipped away from him. Taken by a bullet that had been meant for him. She gave her life to save his. Maybe there was no answer to the question why, but Tony knew that he would never stop seeking the answer. For him and their daughters.


	4. Christmas Cards

I haven't written anything in so long that I feel out of the loop and well, I want to get back into writing again, so here goes nothing. If anything these drabble challenges just prove that I have a hard time writing anything short...

Summary: Every year Tony and Ziva exchange Christmas cards. This year, Ziva uses their cards to break some important news to Tony.

Character(s): Ziva David, Tony Dinozzo

Author's Note: A bit AU, because the shipper in me can't help it. It's hard for me to keep it under 1,000 words.

Prompts: Challenge 288, from **ncis_drabble**

A few days before Christmas Ziva walked into the bullpen and was surprised to see a card propped on her keyboard. She looked around and didn't see anyone around. She looked at the card again and smiled when she recognized Tony's handwriting.

No matter how many times Ziva tried telling him that she didn't celebrate the holiday, he always made sure that she had a card waiting for her. Tony never failed to send her a card for every holiday. She reached into her handbag and pulled out the card that she had gotten for him. Because even though she didn't celebrate the holiday, Ziva knew that it made Tony smile just a little more.

So, Ziva walked over to his desk quickly and propped her card on his keyboard. The pale blue envelope had little stars on it. Ziva smiled when she imagined the look on his face.

Ziva knew that her card was probably going to give him the biggest surprise of his life. She just hoped that he would understand why she was giving him a father's day card at Christmas.

Ziva walked back over to her desk and sat down. Ziva smiled when she heard Tony call out his normal good morning. It wasn't as if they hadn't seen each other already this morning, but it never failed to make her smile.

Ziva smiled, "Thank you for the Christmas card. Even though you know I do not celebrate the holiday. It is nice to know that you didn't forget."

Tony smiled brightly at her and said, "What can I say. Old habits die hard."

Ziva looked up at her husband and smiled. Tony returned the smile and then Ziva looked back down at her keyboard. Ziva heard Tony say, "You got me a card. You shouldn't have."

Ziva shrugged and before Tony could open it, she was up and out of her seat and halfway to the elevator. Tony looked at Ziva, wondering if there was something wrong. Then, after shaking his head, Tony decided that he was imagining things. After opening the card, Tony shook his head and read it again. Wondering if maybe he had read it wrong, Tony read it again.

Getting up from his desk, Tony went off in search of Ziva. He finally found her in the elevator, standing in the middle. Tony whispered softly, "Are you sure?"

She nodded, "Positive. I know that this is a surprise, but I cannot say that I am not happy."

So many thoughts ran through Ziva's mind at that moment. She was worried that Tony would be upset with her.

Tony picked her up and twirled her around and whispered, "Why would I be upset about this? We are having a baby."

Tony picked her up and Ziva laughed as he twirled her around in his arms and kissed her softly. Tony would make a wonderful father. Their unborn child was so very lucky. Maybe celebrating Christmas wasn't such a bad thing after all…


End file.
